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A Dream

July 29th, 2005 Comments off

Kind of looking for interpretation, if anyone is interested in taking a stab at it.

I had a really odd dream last night. I forgot to write it down in my dream journal (I really need to move it to my new side of the bed – we switched sides a while ago) and meant to put it here when I got up but forgot to do that as well. I don’t remember many of the details… I just remember this:

Master was married to my mother (but in the dream she wasn’t my mother and I was only vaguely aware that she was my mother in real life) instead of me and I was His slave. His wife knew that I was His slave and encouraged it. We all went out to dinner to this buffet place that I’ve never seen before (at least that I remember) and there were kids there but I don’t remember who they belonged to.

This is where the dream starts to get fuzzy. I don’t remember conversations, only that it was obvious who He cared about more. His wife left much earlier than we did and we went to this little tiny house that was His but He didn’t share it with His wife (I don’t think). I remember thinking to myself as He had His arm around my waist and led me to the door “He will always fuck me before He fucks His wife. The only time He’ll fuck her is when I’m unavailable. It must suck to be her.” And that’s the last thing I remember.

I don’t even have the beginning of an interpretation. It’s been kind of fucking with me today.

Categories: Rayne Tags:

slaves upcoming review

July 29th, 2005 Comments off

Well, the slaves upcoming 4 month review is due on Monday. She has a set number of tasks she needed to complete in these 4 months and she has unfortunately blown at least one goal she had set for her due to a lie that went on for at least 2 months. Of course, it’s not a total bust either, her review may turn out to be 50/50, although that really wasn’t the intention of these reviews. Small goals were set so that they were attainable.

We will have to see if she surprises me in the next 2 days.

Categories: Melen Tags:

w00t!

July 24th, 2005 Comments off

Three days off in a row! Three days off in a row! I’ve got three days off in a row! W00T! It was completely by accident and tomorrow is gonna suck ass, but I’ve got three days off in a row! Break out the liquor. We’re gonna need more Cherry 7up. Time to PARTY! *ahem* Or something.

So three days to get my rules completely memorized and pass that part of my review. Three days to behave and show that I can. And three days to try to make up for yesterday. I was a royal bitch. I know. I know. It’s hard to believe. But I was. I get that way sometimes. I need to stop though. It hurts the one I love the most.

By the way… I love You more.

Categories: Rayne Tags: No tags for this post.

Argh!

July 21st, 2005 Comments off

I’m going crazy. I’ve been doing so well with ignoring my urges to just eat and eat and eat when I have nothing better to do. I’ve lost around 30ish lbs and two pants sizes. And I want to pig out!

Working on getting transferred. Went to the store I’m going to be transferred to and worked for three hours last night. AND IT SUCKS! Way too quiet. Nothing to do. There were five people there. Five. And we managed without any trouble. I have to go out looking for a job and soon. I really don’t want to work there.

Categories: Rayne Tags: No tags for this post.

Okay, hold up!

July 18th, 2005 Comments off

So I’m reading this blog I’ve run across, and I find an entry on pain sluts. I’m not even half way through the damned thing and I’m thinking “Who the hell taught this person their BDSM terms?”

The entry describes pain sluts as people who like to be treated as
doormats. Who like to be locked in a cage 24/7. Have dirty things
written on them and be made to go in public with them showing. And any
other form of degradation you can imagine. This is not the definition
of a pain slut.

The technical definition of masochist
(from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth
Edition) is as follows:

1. The deriving of sexual
gratification, or the tendency to derive sexual gratification, from
being physically or emotionally abused.
2. The deriving of
pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from being humiliated or
mistreated, either by another or by oneself.
3. A willingness or tendency to subject oneself to unpleasant or trying experiences.

And from WordNet ® 2.0:

n : someone who obtains pleasure from receiving punishment

But we’re not talking masochism here. We’re talking about pain sluts.
Pain sluts come from all walks of the world. Dominants, submissives,
switches, and people that have no D/s orientation at all like pain.
That doesn’t mean they like to be humiliated. That doesn’t mean they
like to be topped. It means they like pain. Pain gets their respective
parts wet. Whether or not they like to be humilated. Period.

Categories: Rayne Tags:

She’s not real

July 14th, 2005 Comments off

So today while reading Slave Farm I stumbled across a person claiming that the blog I have been reading is fake. I guess it would make sense. I mean, it is linked on and to about a million pay porn sites. There was also talk of her actually being male. If she’s male, she’s got the nicest set of man boobs I’ve ever seen. Can’t really comment on her pussy as it’s not really pretty but not ugly either.

So the person that “outed” her is a major jerk (are you reading my
blog still, sweety?). Master commented on the fact that the person’s
main concern was this blog being fake (the outer was posting on a
thread concerning training females) when there was the possibility of
minors being involved in the thread we were posting on. And he starts
attacking us….

Okay… I was going to make this entry
just a bitch session about this guy calling me an idiot for feeling
like a subpar slave after reading a “fake blog”, but I have spent the
past 30 minutes or so reading his blog and I want to scream. So here’s my review of his blog. Read more…

Categories: Rayne Tags: