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Wonderful Dreams

October 8th, 2003

I had a specific rant planned for today and normally plan the outline for my rants while showering. But when I stepped in the shower and began to ponder what to write, I began to think about last night and the dreams I had and how completely wonderful and complacent I felt when I woke this morning. And I realized I have something much more important to talk about than people forgetting that consent is a big factor (at least in the beginning stages) of a BDSM relationship. I have feelings to brag about! ::smile::

Master allowed me to sleep on the bed last night with the statement “You had better be a good girl. And you better stay on your side of the bed, too.” I tend to sleep on him rather than next to him at times. So I do my usual thing. Lay on my stomach until that’s uncomfortable, turn on my side until that’s uncomfortable, lay on my back until that’s uncomfortable, and then drift off on my other side facing away from him with the hope that I will wake to him cuddling me at sometime in the night.

As I slowly begin to drift off I feel Master’s hand smoothing my hair away from my face and his arms wrap around me. He pulls me to him and then says softly in my ear “You belong to me. Do you understand me?” I say “Yes, Sir.” and he says it again. He tells me that he will do whatever he wants to me and then grabs my collar. As I lay there listening to him speak, not mistaking the menace in his voice, I relax completely and a smile crosses my lips. I am his. I belong to him. 

I wait to see if he plans to use his girl or just wanted to let me know where I stand and hear him begin to fall asleep so I drift off as well. Into the most wonderful dreams I could ever imagine.

The entire night was compiled of dreams of my life. My whole life. From the time I was born until now. And in every moment, Master was there. He was helping me through everything I had to deal with. It was sort of like that poem, Footprints. Only my savior was Master, not God.

When I woke up this morning, I was (and still am as I write this) in the most wonderful mood. I feel so complacent. So rested and happy. I know that the dreams can’t possibly be true. I met Master when I was 22 so there’s no way he could have been there every moment of my life in the physical sense. But I feel like, some how, they are true at least a little bit. That some how, he was there with me, each step of the way. Through the good times and the bad. And not only because I’ve rambled to him from time to time about my life. The more I think about it, the more I realize that he was, in a sense, with me through out my entire life.

They say that there is someone for everyone. A soul mate of sorts. Someone that you will spend all of eternity with. And in each lifetime you will find that soul somehow, some way. People tend to fall in love with the idea of finding that one. And they love them and hold them in their heart from when they are very small in hopes of finding them and making a life with them.

These dreams were telling me, as if I didn’t already know, that this is the man I have always wanted. The man that has taught me, throughout my short life, to love and be loved, to dream and be dreamed of, to hope against hope, and to have faith that one day my dreams will come true. He has been there every step of the way, helping me along. Whispering in my ear “Just a little longer. Just a little farther down the road. Keep going. We’ll be together soon. Don’t give up. I am real, and I am here for you.” And I pray that in every life, each time my soul returns to this earth, I find him and that I never have to live a day of eternity without him.

Happy birthday, Master. I love You with all my heart.

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